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Advice for a friend situation?


LinXX
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This is not something I normally would ask on a forum that I am not too familiar with everyone on but I want an unbiased opinion. I have two friends, let's call them Jen and Jack. Jack I have known since I was 9 years old. He has always been a good friend to me but moved away when I was 14. I met Jen when I was 15 or so and we have been friends since. 2 years ago Jack moved back and Jen was in a relationship at the time but told me she had a crush on Jack. Fast forward to 4 weeks ago, I learned the two had slept together. Jen is still in a relationship but told Jack she broke up with her boyfriend and here I am pickle in the middle. 

Should I tell Jack what she did or should I lie for Jen?

Edited by LinXX
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It all comes down to your own moral values on such matters, and who you value more as a friend. I could say a lot more and try to help, but I don’t know you or your friends. A reason being is for me, I’d be concerned for your friend Jen. I would try to help by showing her what she is doing is wrong and that you want the best for her. Be heartfelt in your delivery, again, part of the problem is I don’t know how much you care for her, so for all I know these are two regular friends. I might have droned on there a bit, do what you think is right. What she is doing is clearly wrong, you need to decide if she is worth trying to help, if not I’d tell the person who is being wronged. If you’d like me to say some more (in a more organized manner) I’d be happy to, just hard to give advice that usually calls for more info and depends on ones moral code. Anyway if you don’t, wish you the best and hope this helped some. Remember, a man is only as good as the company he keeps, applies to a good deal of life’s often complicated situations. 

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Jack is a dude and likely will not be too bothered by her being a cheater since they had only just slept together the one time (assuming it was one time). If he thinks they are going to end up dating though that can be an issue. I agree with the above comment on talking to Jen. She may be having issues with the current BF that are not good. 

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Talk to Jen like mentioned above. Cheating isn't something that just happens. Usually there is an underlying reason. If she is not happy the right thing to do is to leave her boyfriend. If she is happy/content with him, then this is likely down to attention. I had an ex cheat on me and come clean a few days after. She told me that we need to break up because of what she did, I agreed. Then she explained the attention I could give her wasn't enough. I was mad at first but I understood once I cooled off. I was working 2 jobs at the time and hardly went out anywhere with her. She was only in school part time and didn't work.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Thanks for the advice guys. I ended up talking to "Jen" and she got very mad at me. We didn't talk for nearly 2 weeks. She came around a few days ago with coffee and explained everything. So yeah, you guys were right about something being up. I am glad I talked to her, even if she did get mad. 

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