Here is my challenge. Buy a single bag of frozen swai (cheap fish. it's in the catfish family). On a morning you're feeling frisky, throw some oil in a pan and heat it up. Just before you toss the fish in the oil, throw some butter in. Season that frozen slab generously, then slap it into the pan (Gently! Hot oil!). Flip it like you would bacon. When it's done, it's delicious. Put it on the biscuit I'm going to tell you how to make. Eat it on the side. Eat it with some grits. Eat it with some corn bread. Eat it with oatmeal. I don't care. I'm not your mother.
Good biscuits are comprised of four key ingredients: self-rising flour, shortening (or lard), buttermilk (no, your suggestion won't cut it, it has to be buttermilk), and paying attention to frickin' directions. You can cut it down to 3 if you use Bisquick or make your own Bisquick substitute.
Let's rewind for a minute. The formula for Bisquick was discovered when some guy stole the recipe from a chef on a train. It's just shortening mixed into self-rising flour at roughly 6 parts flour to 1 part shortening. You can do lard, but you're going to have to freeze or refrigerate it. You got a knack for experimentation? Shake up the ratios. Whatever.
Back to the present. You have to listen to your dough. Handle it too much, you're going to make it tougher, handle it too little, you're fine but it'll be stickier trying to get it on a pan. That's fine for drop biscuits, I'm more of a rolled biscuit guy myself.
Let's rewind again. "@NthnButAGoodTime," you might say, "I'm not going to use buttermilk for anything else, it's going to go bad before I use it again." Look, you may not realize this, but when it comes to buttermilk, the 'sell by' date doesn't mean the same as regular milk. Buttermilk. Will. Keep. For. Months. Until that stuff climbs out of the fridge and talks to you, it's still fine [citation needed].
Now your fourth (or third) ingredient. Google "Bisquick Biscuit Recipe". Use that as your springboard. Make a few batches. You'll perfect it in no time. Then you can start experimenting with what properties you want. Fluffier? More shortening. Moister? (more moist?) Slightly more buttermilk or introduce cold butter or mayonnaise. More dry or stiffer? Reverse the other things.
Oversimplification: self-rising flour, shortening, buttermilk, a recipe that only calls for those (or use Bisquick and Bisquick's recipe). Nail that, and then experiment from there. Easy!